My Sancturay~

I met a few of my OT course mate during a classmate's 21th bday celebration. And I told a few of them about my decision to quit the course yesterday. And a lot of people were surprised, but they are pretty understanding... Then one of the guys in my course asked to talk to me... So not wanting to make a scene, i followed him out of the hall..

So i had a long talk explaining why i quit it.. and warned him not to think it was something easy to do.. and not to consider it as long as he felt that he has the passion and the calling to be what he chose to be... Then we started getting a little personal..

It made me think a little.... Well, mainly he said that he never realised how 'unique' i was in the class.. (basically it is coz i was the only girl who he can talk about soccer and anime to me..) and he was saying that my leaving would leave a missing space in the class (ya duh!!)

At some point, i was expecting him to stray from the 'friendship' line and get more... 'relational'. Thank goodness that despite his wordings and how he said it, he is a typical guy- dense, and unaware what he said. Luckily that I am a sweet and nice girl and choose not to misinterpret it in any way.

But as he was telling me that, i realise that i shouldn't take anyone for granted. One would never know how important a person is in their lives until they lose the person. It was sad.. i realise how much i miss my friends in OT course. I could never imagine my life without them.. they have made an impact in my life- some more than the others.

But i had to leave the course... coz if not it would sap every self worth and confidence i ever have. Even now as they brave through the third placement, it was taking a toll on them. Somehow it seems that our best is enough...

Well, i just had to get it out. Because sometimes when i think back.... i just wonder- what if he realised that what he thinks is more than just friendship... I hope i will never need to cross that hurdle... coz it would be sad to lose someone... a friendship

And it is easy to lose a guy's friendship easily.

9:31 pm

Sometimes i think uncertainity makes me hesistant and undecisive.

What do I want for University? In NTU, or SMU?

I have decided to venture into a little less scary path of Economics.

But can i go into SMU? Can I handle the studies in SMU? Or will i fail again.

After what happened in my previous course, i can't help but wonder whether i can make it.

Yes, i have little confidence.. Pretty sad eh?? heh

4:00 pm

Quotes

As long as you continue to be yourself, that's enough
-Shigure Sohma, Fruit Basket-

Never throw your life away.
-Folken, Escaflowne-

Touya: There are no such things are coincidences in this world--
Kaho: --there is only the inevitable.
-Cardcaptor Sakura-

Nothing costs as much as loving-
except not loving
-C.S Lewis, The four loves-

Love is different for everyone, Yahiko.
Among a hundred different people
there would be a hundred different forms of love
-Okina, Rurouni Kenshin

Sometimes people forget that they have the courage to live.
But as long as they have something in their hearts to believe in,
that courage will never vanish
-Sakura Kinomoto, Tsubasa Chronicles

Regret is just a waste of time for fools
-Cho Hakkai, Saiyuki

Welcome to this illusion I've created.
A world of our own, with our rules
-Seishirō Sakurazuka X/1999